


they fuckin pumpkins now?

by troubleseeker



Category: Supernatural
Genre: And they like it, Crack, Food Sex, Other, Pumpkins, Sam Winchester is a Little Shit, Weird smut, also, cause they fuckin pumpkins, have I said pumpkins yet, hot pumpkins, no human on human sex, only human on pumpkin, pumkin fucking, really - Freeform, squashes, they both fuck pumpkins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-13 23:09:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16481519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubleseeker/pseuds/troubleseeker
Summary: Sam catches Dean getting frisky in the kitchen with a pumpkin and proceeds to be a little shit about it ... but the seed (get it) has been planted and he can't get it all out of his mind ...





	they fuckin pumpkins now?

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2 hours, and all past midnight ... I'm so sorry ... not really though!

Sam blinked twice.

_Yeah no._

He blinked again.

Nope. Still Dean …  _fucking_ a pumpkin.

Still …  _Dean_ … balls deep in a would be Jack’o’lantern.

_What the fuck?_

Sam was rooted to the floor, mostly hidden behind the door to the kitchen. Throat tight as he watched his brother go wild. And while highly odd, Dean seemed to be having a wild time. Grabbing hold of the pumpkin sitting on the table with both hands as he thrust his hips back and forth.

He glanced down at the pumpkin in his own hands. It was nice and firm. And round … nope, not going there. His brothers shameful kink were one thing, but his  _own_  kinks were something else completely. 

Dean’s thrusts were speeding up, table scraping with the force fo it all.

Sam ducked back behind the wall as Dean grunted his way to what  _sounded_ like an amazing orgasm. Muted behind a fist, but enthousiastic as fuck.

He hightailed it back out of the house, before slamming the door loudly coming back inside.

“Dean? I’m back!”

There was a bunch of noise from the kitchen, and Sam walked into the room to find his big brother red faced but completely dressed holding his pumpkin above the trash can. He could have let it go, but the little shit inside of Sam poked its head out of the depths and cackled.

“Wait? Are you backing out now? Come on, dude! You promised we’d carve pumpkins together.”

Sam watched emotions flit across Dean’s stunned face. The post-orgasm glow was still on his cheeks, but his eyes were set solidly in horror.

“Come on, Dean. I found really nice pumpkin.”

He offered his own, uncarved - and unmolested - pumpkin as a viginal offering.

“Sure, Sammy. Sure. I was just_uh_ you know what.” Dean’s lips twitched into something that vaguely resembled a smile. “Never mind. Let’s carve.”

“Great!”

Playing up the enthousiasm, Sam plopped down in one of the chairs and reached for the knife.

“I really looked for the best one. This one’s really nice to look at.”

Dean hummed, dropping down into another chair and setting his pumpkin down like it was about to bite him.

“It’s all round and firm.”

Sam watched Dean’s eyes go wide as he demonstrated just how firm the thing was; squeezing it like he would an ass. Dean swallowed thickly.

“Ok. so first we cut a hole, right?”

Dean looked like he was about to pass out, so Sam quickly stuck his knife in the top of his pumpkin to carve out its hat.

“Oh! Yes! Yeah. You_ you cut off the top. Yep. Just the top.”

Sam handed the knife over, stretching to get a spoon out of the cutlery drawer without getting up.

“And now … we scoop. Oh wow, it’s all wet in there.”

Dean dropped the knife, swearing and pulling his feet up seconds later. Sam made damn sure his eyes and tone were innocent and worried.

“You ok, Dean?”

Dean wasn’t looking at him, head under the table as he retrieved his knife.

“Yeah, whatever.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

“Ok then. Weirdo.”

“You’re the weirdo.” Dean echoed from under the table, and Sam didn’t have to hide his grin.

“It’s just that I wasn’t expecting it to be so slick.”

Dean swore like a sailor as his head cracked against the table.

“You sure you’re ok?”

Sam watched as Dean shot up from under the table, and aggressively finished carving out the stem of his pre-sauced pumpkin.

“I’m fine. Stop asking. Just scoop out the gross bit.”

Grinning like a loon - and it wasn’t suspicious anymore, he grinned every time Dean made a fool of himself - Sam twirled his spoon, and stuck back in. They worked in silence for a couple of minutes, and Dean seemed to be calming down.

“Why is yours so much slimier inside?”

Dean stopped breathing. Probably ceased his earthly life, leaving his fleshy husk behind while his soul went on to better things. Sam licked at his lips, leaning over to get a better look at the churned insides of Dean’s squash. Dean whimpered.

“Maybe it’s because they’re a different kind of pumpkin?”

Grabbing the lifeline like a drowning man, Dean gasped for air and nodded like a bobblehead vying for the employee of the month trophy.

“Yeah. Sure. Different kinds of pumpkins. Good. Yep. Mhm.”

Sam nodded, plopping a big scoop of untainted seeds and pulp into the bowl of slimy pumpkin guts.

“Should we roast the seeds? Could be a nice snack.”

Dean’s face went impossibly white, and he had to try six whole times before he managed to say, “No!”

Sam made a face, raising his eyebrows and nodding in the direction of the oven.

“Oven acting up again? Or just too messy for your spotless kitchen?”

“It’s not my kitchen.” Dean countered instinctually.

“As if. You’re the only one who cooks in here.”

Dean huffed, but Sam went in with his last hit.

“You love it so much, you’d fuck it if you could.”

He could see Dean sweating, eyes wide and scared as he looked for a way out. Sam took mercy.

“Ok. So now’s time for the face. You got a sharpy?”

Dean relaxed slowly, going so far as to rinse his pumpkin before carving, but Sam didn’t comment. He was too frightened Dean might have a coronary if he did.

In the end Sam was pretty proud of the lantern he ended up with. It had a fancy looking face and he’d managed some of those half carved bits that gave you a second colour when you lit your candle.

Dean’s looked a bit more rushed and sloppy, but that was to be expected.

What Sam hadn’t expected, was to end up with a fresh pumpkin on his desk. Not that it had popped into existence without his permission.

No.

He’d gone out and bought it himself. With his own money. Smuggled it upstairs. All by himself.

It was stupid.

Really really stupid.

But he couldn’t get it out of his head. Dean’s face of ecstasy as he plowed his pumpkin. The sound as he’d fucked it.

Sighing at his own idiocy, Sam carved a hole through the pumpkin’s side. He turned it around a couple of times, looking for the best bit. A nice wide ridge seemed best, no add bumpy bits to get caught on and stuff.

He looked at the dark hole. He didn’t want it way bigger than his dick. But that looked too small.

With another deep sigh, he picked up the ruler from his desk. No, 1 inch diameter was not enough. He carefully carved the hole a bit bigger. Had Dean had to redo his?

Nervous, he set the knife and ruler down and stuck two fingers through the hole.

Slimy, and cold.

No way was he putting his dick into something that cold.

Except he’d gone this far, might as well give it a go.

Sam eyes the ribbed orange squash before picking it up with another sigh. He’d need to warm it up a bit.

Dean was out, and the trick or treaters were long gone. Still he was hiding in his room. Hiding the pumpkin behind his back in case someone was trying to rob them, he snuck down to the kitchen. The squash barely fit inside the microwave, but what else was he meant to do with it? Boil it?

He checked every 30 seconds, as if he was melting chocolate or something instead of a pumpkin so it didn’t freeze his dick off … as he fucked it.

Sam knocked his head against the nearest cabinet to try and dislodge the stupid, but the microwave beeped and he opened it, and he checked the pumpkin with two fingers again, and then put it back in for another 30 seconds.

Even more on edge than before, he ninja’d his way back to his room; locking the door and drawing the curtains for extra security.

It was still a bit too warm now, but by the time he’d settled down it would be perfect.

So … did he set the thing on his desk and go ham?

Or did he lie down and use it like a massive two-handed fleshlight?

Taking the golden middle road, Sam sat his ass down on his desk chair instead. He could spread his legs pretty far, and he could use both his hands and move his hips a bit if he wanted to.

He was about to reach for his orange bed buddy when he looked at his jeans. No way did he want to get pumpkin on those. He stood up and stripped quickly.

His pumpkin was getting colder, and nothing was getting him back at the microwave for the second time in a night with a pumpkin.

“Fuck this is stupid.” He whispered, but he didn’t get in bed to forget the ridiculous plan.

Nah. He sat his nude ass down on his chair and picked up his lukewarm pumpkin. Eyes closed, he fingered the hole again first. Still slimy and wet, but a bit warmer than his skin; and ok … it felt nice.

“Fuck. Ok.”

Eyes still very much closed, he slid the pumpkin onto his dick.

“Oh. Oh!”

Sam stuffed a fist inside his mouth, biting down on the knuckles till the first wave passed. God damn it felt good. Wet, and slimy with the fruit as a nice snug pressure around his base. He needed both hands to lift the thing, and oh shit it was amazing.

The stringy insides clung to his skin, and the seeds provided texture and stuff.

Just warm enough to warm his dick.

After a couple of careful tries, Sam stood up again. He needed more space to move. Propping the pumpkin against the edge of his desk, he could thrust into it like he had someone bent over his desk.

Harder.

Faster.

Fingernails digging into orange of peel.

And oh god. Oh God, he was going to come.

Biting his lip - no one was home, but dear Lord he did not want anyone to walk in if they happened to be inside the house - he pulled the squash flush with his hips; grinding deep. He came. Breath stuttering, he added his own seed to the mush inside the pumpkin.

Gasping for air, he dropped down on his bed, pumpkin still clamped down tight to his crotch.

“Fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come yell at me on [tumblr](http://ryugarika.tumblr.com/) ... feel free to, I can take it.
> 
> Comments feed me!


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